Well, this video explains why we have to bleed out our anus to make CSS sites and HTML emails work with IE and AOL.
Trick or Treat! Since it’s Halloween, I thought it’d be funny to see what other tech tips are out there. So, here is the tale of my obligatory Google search for our site’s prized search term: “Tech Tips for Us”
Tech Tips for Catholic Teens — Ah, yes, FINALLY someone did what we’ve been meaning to do as a sub-domain for years! Why visit “catholic_teen.tipsfor.us” when you have “http://catholictechtips.stblogs.com/”? Other than the obviously strange preclusion about the target audience, the perfunctory cross fav.icon, and the notable omission about the hottest techie action for altar boys, the blog looks suspiciously similar to our own…
http://www.unixwiz.net/techtips/sql-injection.html This is a good site for people wanting to understand how to protect from MySQL database vulnerabilities… the Wiki article is also pretty good. I wrote a little article about MySQL Security that seemed a bit too geeky for this blog (I know, I know… I’m disappointing the fans). I think my favorite story about a site getting owned was when the Dremel site (famous for their moto-tool) was hacked via SQL-injection and the homepage ended up being replaced with an image of a Goatse-pumpkin. (Appropriately, the pumpkin was carved with a Dremel Moto-tool). Watch out boys and girls! SQL injection is not pretty!
LifeHacker.com — hey, this site looks legit. They even have a seasonal article about Do-It-Yourself Facial Prosthetics! They also have lots of old-school artwork with airships — the kind with little propellers that you see in Miyazaki films or in Smashing Pumpkins videos. I LOVE THAT!
Well, some days you need some tips, some days you need some humor. Today is a day when I need to laugh at something, because I just got a phone call from the Dow Jones Industrial average… it said “go F@#% yourself!” So… the article I’m linking to only makes sense if you know something about Linux, but I thought it was pretty hilarious: Run as Root
Running as root will change your life. People will no longer cut you off in the lunch line, and if you tell someone to go screw themselves, don’t be surprised if they actually do it.
People or Things that Ran as Root
- Chuck Norris
- That guy who took a picture of himself every day for 6 years
- Hurricane Katrina
- The 1968 Toronto Maple Leafs
- Large Hadron Collidor
Some days feel more like Dilbert and Office Space than others… this video is funny because it’s true.
For anyone who has ever worked tech support, I post this video for you. And Dad, if the printer breaks again, I love you, but fix the @#$% thing yourself.
Almost exactly one year ago, I became a member of the Digg community. My life was perfectly fine beforehand, or so I thought. To me, Digg was just another news site, and I suspected I would occasionally scan it for interesting articles and then be on my merry way, giving Digg no more than five minutes of my time per day. Boy was I wrong!
Now, my life is forever changed. My eyes have been opened. I’ve swallowed the “red” pill. Before my Digg addiction, I was a happily married man in the early stages of my career, a fairly-devout Christian, a Windows-using Republican, and a technology enthusiast. I’m still a technology enthusiast, but since Digg overtook my life, a few things have changed.
For starters, Digg taught me that Microsoft Windows is a crap operating system, and Bill Gates is the anti-Christ. Or was it Steve Ballmer? One never knows…. So, I switched to Linux, but not just any Linux. The collective wisdom of the pre-pubescents who populate Digg informed me again and again that Ubuntu is the best Linux. Naturally, whenever I see any word resembling Ubuntu in an upcoming story, I froth at the mouth in a rabid digging frenzy! Ubuntu = Dugg. No other Linux matters.
With a change to my operating system came a change to my religion. Though I always had a few uneasy questions about Christianity, my faith was pretty solid. However, roughly 3 minutes after I joined Digg, I quickly learned how foolish I had been for ever believing in the possibility of an all-powerful divine force. On Digg, atheism runs rampant, and is growing in popularity every day. Soon the government will have to give us tax-exempt status as a bonafide religion! Oh wait.
Anyway, the strong faith in atheism at Digg has caused me to toss my old faith aside. I mean, that many utterly life-inexperienced 12-year-olds must be right. Right?
Additionally, the collective wisdom of the 12-year-old diggers emphatically informed me that Ron Paul is the savior of America. At first it seemed like Obama would be the choice, but the far-from-voting-age experts showed me time and again that Ron Paul would save me from the Neocons who want nothing more than to use me as cannon fodder in Iraq. Or was it Iran? One never knows…, but thank science that Digg showed me the “light” (or should I say “electromagnetic radiation of a wavelength?” One never knows….).
After a few months as a Digg member, I suddenly found that my attention span had shrunk to a maximum of about 4 seconds. More and more, I found that I could not concentrate on tasks at work, and found that my main work productivity included 4-second skims of articles on Digg (plus the subsequent digg, of course). Nevermind that I could never read entire articles – I could rely on the intelligent and profound Digg comments to give me the facts.
These mental changes took a toll on my life. First of all, I was fired from work. Apparently reading Digg doesn’t benefit the company. It doesn’t matter – they’re all a bunch of Giuliani lovers, I bet). My wife left me soon after that. Apparently she was incapable of understanding my lifelong goal of “digging” for 22 hours a day. She didn’t like my newfound faith in atheism either, but it’s her loss.
With my lost income and lost wife, I decided to move back into my parent’s basement. I feel comfortable here, and no one persecutes my faith (or lack thereof). Sure, I miss my wife at times, but I can always rely on Digg to comfort me. There, see! There’s a video of Israeli women in bikinis! I digg Kosher babes. Ah, Digg, I can always count on you. Seeing a video of a woman is almost like being with a real woman, provided that I shut my eyes and… pretend.
Finally, I live in constant fear of taser-happy police, feel that the US will become a “police state” in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…, unless Ron Paul can valiantly charge in and save us. My newfound anxiety keeps me from leaving the comfort of my parent’s basement without carrying a video camera at all times. You never know when those bad cops are waiting to pounce (or is it Pownce? One never knows….)!
That’s ok. I really don’t mind my self-imposed, jobless, womanless, solitude. After all, I still get plenty of excitement just by hanging around Digg. There’s enough stories about Linux, atheism, and Ron Paul to keep me dancing, drooling, and writhing in a Bacchic fit for hours. Plus, all the old internet jokes and pictures are cool again!
Thanks Digg! Kevin Rose is my hero!
If you cannot tell, this article is a complete satire, a fabrication, a creative indulgence. Or, to put it into Digg-speak: FAKE!!!!11!!! Its teh shopped!!!!
Oh, I really do like Ron Paul, though. Promise. 🙂